Recently, I looked at the last five people that I texted. I thought about how each of them are playing in finances (income level, debt load, money management), in relationships (what kind of relationships do they have with their spouse, kids, friends), and in health (what’s their health like).
You are who your friends are! Who are the last five people you’ve messaged? Do you want your life to be like theirs? Do you admire them? It’s time to honestly look at the people you are around the most.
I have a client whose mother always casted seeds of worry in every conversation with her daughter. Can you relate, does your mom do this? My client wanted a close relationship with her mother but found herself not calling her and sharing much because her mother conveyed so much worry to her! She eventually said, “Mom, I want to share my life with you but because you have so much influence on me, every time I call you about my relationships, about my kids, you cast YOUR worry on me, it creates worry in ME! If we want a close relationship, you’re going to have to stop handing me your worry every time we talk.” And guess what, the mother stopped conveying her worry to her daughter. And they have a close relationship today. She spoke up, she made changes to her relationships.
You are who your friends are. Sometimes we have to remove toxic people from our life. Sometimes we can work with people, share how we want the relationship to change.
Soooo, I’m challenging you today, what are your next steps for controlling how you’re influenced? Do you need to say “no” to an evening with certain friends that hold you back instead of pushing you toward your dreams? Ask a new friend for lunch instead that will inspire you. Know a friend with an amazing marriage or incredible relationship with her kids? Take her for coffee & ask her how she prioritizes her relationships.
I dare YOU to be brave and do what you need to do in order to positively influence your life. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and tell me how this landed for you. I’d love to hear from you.