The holiday parties have started!
As I drove home from the first holiday gathering of the year with some of my closest Inner Circle clients and friends, I realized we did not take a group photo! I was so mad at myself. We looked festive, all 12 of us were there, yet no photo of the big group. Then I realized, Wait, how cool that nobody had their phones out at the party! Right?! Everyone was giving their full attention to conversations and focused on connecting and we forgot to take the photo! What a good problem!
It’s holiday party season! How are you at being present? Do you try to split your attention?
I’ll never forget a few years ago at a neighborhood holiday party when I was completely called out by one of our guy friends for being not really there. He said, “Beth, are you here? Seems like you’re here, but you’re not really here.” Dang, that stung. And he was right, I had my phone in my hand and was only present for half the conversations at best. Are you hiding your phone under the table texting, too? Do you keep your phone in hand or sitting on the table in front of you?
Time scarcity is a real thing the world tries to get us to buy into. What is it about December that brings out the crazy in us? The answer is around “enough-ness” and with time, each of us has, all the time that there is! One daily mantra that I like to say to myself, especially on full days, “I have enough time for all my priorities.” Repeat after me…”I have enough time…for all my priorities.” YES YOU DO.
I call it the B-word. BUSY! I have a friend who every time I ask, “How are you?”, she says: BUSY!! Do you overuse that word? I’ve replaced “busy” with “full”. I have a full life.
If you are feeling the effects of a full life, where can you be fully present with your attention? For me it is at the dinner table or when my family is in the car with me. Those little devices in our back pocket or purse can wreak havoc on our life!
Life is really simple and we try to complicate it. Simple fact: People just want to be heard, people want to be seen and they want to be understood. What could we do to be more fully present? A few ideas that work for me:
- Leave my phone zipped in my purse at the party. Better yet, leave it in the car!
- Set a clear boundary for ourselves when we are done with devices. I like to leave my phone in my office, close the door and be phone-free 5-7 pm on weekdays, I’m NOT perfect but something I’m working towards.
- Look into people’s eyes when they talk to you (stop multitasking!) This has been a game changer as I get up from my desk or stop unloading the dishwasher when my kids or hubby comes home. Really deep connection includes looking into their eyes.
- Create more margins in our day/calendar. OMG, I’m a total work in progress on this one! There’s a great book called, “Margins” on this topic of overscheduling our lives.
So, how are you choosing to show up this December? What’s your intention as you head into holiday parties? How are you creating space for connection this time of year? Who can you really, truly listen to this week? Send me your ideas, I’m learning alongside you.
Go forth + BE present today friends.
P.S. I’ve been creating something super special for YOU that I cannot wait to get in your hands. My FREE Year in Gear Guide will be in your inbox soon. Stay tuned! Tell your people to join my email list so they get one too! Forward this email to a friend so they can register to get their free stuff, too, at bethmonptas.com