Are you a love language fan?

We’ve been talking about this tool in my family because last week was my birthday and every year the topic of what kind of a gift do you value most comes up! Here’s the thing, my hubby deeeeeeply values GIVING/RECEIVING GIFTS and quite differently, I feel loved by ACTS OF SERVICE.

Our first years of dating were filled with expensive gifts to me (what do I do with this iPad/iPod/new Apple computer? Do I really need another Coach purse/shoes/organizer for my desk?) It was all so WELL MEANING!! God, love him!!!

And then I acted like a goof writing in his Father’s Day card: “Good for one free car detail!” Or “Let’s go for a long walk together!” And he was gritting his teeth wondering where his present was?!

Now, a decade into the relationship, wiser and AWARE, I write on my calendar 1-2 months before his birthday and holidays to start revving up my shopping! And he’s figured out in the past couple years to start giving me coupons for planned date nights, scheduling a car detail for me, and making dinner!

The LESSON: We had to figure out what the other one values. And stop giving gifts based on our OWN values!! Because that’s what we tend to do, give love the way we want to receive it, instead of the way THEY want to receive it.

If you want your marriage to be a 10/10, then you get to figure out each other’s love languages. (BONUS: find out your kids and your best friend’s too!)

The 5 love languages (if you forgot!): gifts, acts of service, physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation.

My top love languages are quality time and words of affirmation. Jonathan’s is gifts and quality time. NOW, we know that we both value a day or evening spent together and make sure our calendar reflects that value.

“Love is a choice you make every day.”

– Dr. Gary Chapman, Author of The 5 Love Languages

What is your love language? I’d love to hear! Take the quiz today! What comes up for you when you take this assessment? How do you see this play out in your life?





P.S. If you’ve watched what I do in my life coaching biz and are interested in learning more, next month I kick off a Coaches Mastermind. Email me at and ask me for the details– !