I was “cracked wide open” by an exercise with my coaching team last week. I wanted to share it with you to see if you can relate and what your relationship with “getting feedback” is.
Here was the exercise:
“Tell each person on our small group team the GAP you see for them to get to the next level, then share the GIFTS you see in them.” Sounds easy enough. Cue the holy breakdown! While the first person on our team started giving feedback and sharing the gap she saw in my teammates, I started sobbing. I was out loud in total breakdown. I could not bear this brutal honesty for people that I loved so deeply. I felt it was hurtful and hard to hear this feedback. Finally my coach says, “BREATHE, Beth! Let OXYGEN be your friend.” It took me several minutes to gain composure (to be honest, it was a sobbing one hour for me!) and it cracked me wide open to realize that I GET to be more comfortable giving feedback. The shift came when I realized it was only negative if I took it negative. I finally realized that we were deeply SERVING each other by sharing the areas of potential gaps with each person.
And guess what?? There were no surprises!
I already knew what they shared. We all did!
The feedback helps us grow to the next level! Bumping into our comfort zone is where all the learns are, right?
How are you at getting and giving feedback? How do you think you and your life and/or business could be served by asking for feedback?
P.S. Two years ago I sent a survey email to a small group of clients, friends and family members to get feedback. Only 10 out of 30 responded claiming it was “not nice” or “too hard” to respond! Would you have responded if I sent an email to you asking for feedback about my strengths and most importantly, my weaknesses (aka “areas of improvement”)??
P.S.S. If you want a copy of the email that I sent out to friends asking for their feedback, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I’ll share it with you.