I’m going to crack my heart wide open here and tell you what I’ve been coming up against this week. Here is the dark truth: I want to control others. Specifically my children. I want to save them! I want to rescue others.
I decided to take myself on this week and get REAL about these two things this week:
Trust and Let go.
My 17 year old, my last child, moved out nearly 2 weeks ago. It was planned but felt pretty unplanned because it happened on a Friday night at 10:30pm with little notice.
Smashing stuff into his girlfriend’s car late at night was not how I had it planned in my mind!! As he pulled away I stood in the middle of the street bawling my eyes out to my husband. Since then that kid has declined a trip to Target for apartment/college supplies. We have yet to see his new apartment. Again, NOT how I wanted it to go. Who turns down a trip to Target!?? 🤔
I’ll tell you who: Someone playing his own game. Someone ready for his mom to Let. Him. Go.
This is exactly what we grow them up to do, right? Move out and create a life for themselves. Right? And why is it still so hard…
Because I know the mistakes in this boy’s past. And what happens if he makes more choices that hurt him or others around him. Fear is setting in. My mind is running away from me. Worry has filled my nights as I attempt to fall asleep. And God forbid if I happen to wake in the middle of the night, it’s what keeps me up for hours wondering if he’s safe.
And here’s my come to Jesus-moment with myself this week after way too much lost sleep:
This is HIS JOURNEY. Not mine. These are HIS mistakes to make. And…HIS triumphs.
Every mom May have to repeat that with me. It’s their journey. Not ours.
And once you really sink into that letting go. It feels so light, peaceful, freeing. I get to trust God to take care of that college boy. I get to trust THAT BOY to learn lessons and not rob him of the chance to learn! I get to let go of his past! I get to hold him HIGH! I get to keep holding him to his best future self (not his immature dumb a$$ kid self!! 😆)
THAT’S what I’ve been sinking into. Meditating on. Inviting into my heart.
HOLD OTHERS HIGH!
Beth, let these children go figure out the world. Their mistakes are their own. And their wins are their own too! This isn’t about you…
Because if I think back to when I went to college, did I consider my parents feelings for even a moment before I left home or as I left? HECK NO!
Freedom lives inside this beautiful TRUST and LET GO realization.
What do you need to let go of? Maybe it’s not one of your kids. Maybe it’s control over a project at work. Maybe it’s someone else’s health. Maybe it’s the judgement you hold of your neighbor. What do you get to let go of?
Dang. Sometimes life is tricky. Nobody warned me! We are better together. Thanks for reading along with me every week. I’m so grateful for this community.
P.S. I heard this great thing about worry. Worry is like a prayer for something bad to happen. Who’s with me for less worrying? 🙋 I’ll be sharing more gems like this in a FREE event coming soon to Best Life Tribe! Stay tuned here for the deets.